Is it just me I hope Breast Pumps aren't in Greek??

I tried nursing and pumping with my first two children. Mackenzie got nipple confusion thanks to an unnamed source grrrrrrr and no one wanting to HELP me. My "adopted" mother was like the Breastfeeding Cloth Diapering Nazi... but did she teach me anything about it NOOOO. The lactation consultant was worthless she would attach Mackenzie and then leave. I am like wahhh. I had a manual pump at the time and I could sit there and pump for an hour and literally get an ounce. That wasn't going to cut it. So needless to say between his latex enabler and my lack of knowledge and support he didn't even nurse a month.

Round two... Skylar did a little better although people thought I was starving her. You know if you give a breastfed baby a bottle of formula they get that wasted drunk look? Well thats what Skylar looked like so then I started getting pressure from my Pedi and sister OMG there was no letting up... This time I tried an electric pump... again pretty worthless I swear squeezing my chest probably produced more milk.

Round Three.... I am 99% sure I will be WIC-less.... I am again bound and determined to nurse... I haven't even thought about buying bottles because the bottle will just be a temptation. So I think my only way to go is a Hospital Grade Breast Pump... Then I started freaking. I see so many different types of Medela breast pumps... Are they hospital grade? Are they the best of the best? Which style is the best? Is there another brand? Where do I look how do I review. UGH HELP...