My Breastfeeding Journey

When I got pregnant with my oldest in 1999 I was just 19 years old and barely married. My adopted mom said you WILL (or MUST) breastfeed. It wasn't an option for her. I cried and cried. I was way to modest to breastfeed. Once Mackenzie came into this world I would give it a try. The LC would come into the room and latch him then leave. She would never show me HOW to do it. I think honestly my adopted mom thought I was programmed from Heaven to be an adult, How to cook, diaper and feed children etc. Maybe it should have came to me naturally. HAHA! We were released from the hospital three days later. My husband took us home to rest (no!) he took us home to repack and feed the animals then it was off for a long drive to go to his grandparents house from Riverdale, GA to Hiawassee, GA for his grandparents 50th wedding anniversary party. His mother told me that breastfeeding was vulgar. Everytime I turned around she was putting a bottle in his mouth and changing his clothes or picking him up if I put him down. She was bound to undo everything I did. Typical Mother in Law right? Wrong she is one of those Mother in Law's from hell lol. I get back home from my first weekend with my baby and it was so traumatic between the engorgement etc. Mackenzie probably did get Nipple Confusion. I tried to pump and for more than an hour all I could pump was an ounce. I tried nursing in public and I had to hide and totally strip to get him to latch. Mackenzie had to have skin to skin contact. He never got a nursing rhythm back. My husband at the time made it seem like i was a worthless looser  I think I was unskilled and didn't have a support system or knowledge that I needed. I eventually went to Formula before 3 months of age.


Later the next year I met Danielle T who was wonderful at helping me learn all there was to learn about breastfeeding. Like me she didn't nurse her first born very much but when her second child was orn a year later she gave me some knowledge to know that it can be done and to not be so close minded about it. I had the thinking at a time when my neighbors daughter would crawl in her lap and "serve herself" I thought man once you can serve yourself its time to stop. Or once they have teeth its time to call it quits. Danielle taught me different and introduced me to a new way of parenting and thinking.


In 2002 I had Skylar now I was armed with knowledge and dangerous. I knew breastfeeding was hard at first but I would work through it. I had faith in my body that God designed me for this purpose and I could do it. I got through the harder first two weeks. When she was two months old my husband died and so began a custody battle with his mother. Since Skylar was a preemie my peditrician was worried about a lack of weight gain and said I was starving her. Well I thought when I chose him he was pro breastfeeding since his wife nursed their son for two years. But he asked me to supplement with formula. Pretty soon everyone was anti me breastfeeding because she looked much more satisfied with formula (that drunk look breastfed babies get on formula). I had mastered nursing in public with Skylar. Throwing a blanket (her very special blanket) over my shoulder and she was small enough to walk around and hold. A few months after all this I had to schedule a major surgery that would have me in the hospital for a few days. Again I tried an electric pump and it just wasn't working. I thought it would be better than the manual one. I talked to La Leche League Lactation consultants and read the articles that said my pain medication (morphine)  would be minimmally passed on to the baby. I knew I wouldn't be able to nurse the baby in the hospital. I didn't have a pump that worked. My sister who had twins about the same age took care of her for me. So I just switched over to Formula all together at 6 months old. It probably ended up aiding me in the issues with recovery and dealing with things that my son needed.


Even after all that time my precious princess would get into nursing postion with her bottle and pretend to nurse.


Last year I had my last child. I was turned off by the old fashioned cloth diapering technique with Skylar. I couldn't fold them worth a crap with Mackenzie. My dad had to come to my house to fold them for me. But last year i discovered the new way to cloth diaper. I went to the best shop Huntsville could ask for A Nuturing Moment. Right now the website is down while they rebuild it but once it is back online you can see they are fully stocked with multiple types of Cloth Diapers (CD's to us) and Nursing things. Not only do they sell these things but Glenni the owner is very knowledgable and eager to help. She certainly did me! through ANM I discovered Bum Genius diapers. Yes they are over $10 a piece and you can buy a whole pack of diapers for that price but you can't resuse disposables. Plus they never outgrown them! Its worth the investment if you can make it. i was buying them one at a time everytime I ordered a pack of 'sposies from diapers.com I would order a cloth diaper. (I qualified for free shipping and my 'sposies were the same price as they are in the store. Oh yeah then there is the $10 off coupon for first time orders as well as I get referral money for you signing up lol. Rick and I knew we wanted to breastfeed. I told him ordinary pumps just don't work on me. I told him I think I needed a hospital grade rental. So I went to ANM and asked them and I probably could be just as successful with a Medela Pump in Style that wasn't nearly so expensive. We went looking at Yard Sales and I found my pump barely used for an unbelievable price. Now Medela doesn't recommend using it for more than one person. but I just got new parts for mine. The milk doesn't come in contact with most of it. Its been a heaven send.


When William was born my c-section went better than I could have asked for especially since I didn't! My lactation consultant was a pro. I was released from the hospital not needing pain meds at all. William was a nursing natural. Until engoregement set in. Then he wanted to nurse a minute and fall asleep. Its normal for newborns to fall asleep (they are tired after their journey and its alot of work to eat). Only problem is I couldn't force him to wake up to nurse. I pinched. I poked. I put cold wash clothes on him. I cried. But we made it through. I had some issues that I still needed to have answers too. There will be alot of I can't do this, Its too hard, I have alot of questions. But I KNEW it was hard. I KNEW that maybe it wouldn't work like the previous two times. I KNEW that its all i wanted to do because I believed in the sacrafice. I struggled with the dirty looks from my own family. Their ignorance and lack of knowledge. I pumped in private when I wasn't nursing wherever I chose to. Almost nine months later William still nurses. He prefers solid foods, He has a bottle on occassion and he nurses when he wants to. He is starting to use a cup and he is doing beautifully. I never wanted to give up even though I knew it was hard. It was hard on me emotionally. I knew it had more hormones going crazy etc. But its whatever is best for William.