Breastfeeding nine months tomorrow

My Breastfeeding Journey

When I got pregnant with my oldest in 1999 I was just 19 years old and barely married. My adopted mom said you WILL (or MUST) breastfeed. It wasn't an option for her. I cried and cried. I was way to modest to breastfeed. Once Mackenzie came into this world I would give it a try. The LC would come into the room and latch him then leave. She would never show me HOW to do it. I think honestly my adopted mom thought I was programmed from Heaven to be an adult, How to cook, diaper and feed children etc. Maybe it should have came to me naturally. HAHA! We were released from the hospital three days later. My husband took us home to rest (no!) he took us home to repack and feed the animals then it was off for a long drive to go to his grandparents house from Riverdale, GA to Hiawassee, GA for his grandparents 50th wedding anniversary party. His mother told me that breastfeeding was vulgar. Everytime I turned around she was putting a bottle in his mouth and changing his clothes or picking him up if I put him down. She was bound to undo everything I did. Typical Mother in Law right? Wrong she is one of those Mother in Law's from hell lol. I get back home from my first weekend with my baby and it was so traumatic between the engorgement etc. Mackenzie probably did get Nipple Confusion. I tried to pump and for more than an hour all I could pump was an ounce. I tried nursing in public and I had to hide and totally strip to get him to latch. Mackenzie had to have skin to skin contact. He never got a nursing rhythm back. My husband at the time made it seem like i was a worthless looser  I think I was unskilled and didn't have a support system or knowledge that I needed. I eventually went to Formula before 3 months of age.


Later the next year I met Danielle T who was wonderful at helping me learn all there was to learn about breastfeeding. Like me she didn't nurse her first born very much but when her second child was orn a year later she gave me some knowledge to know that it can be done and to not be so close minded about it. I had the thinking at a time when my neighbors daughter would crawl in her lap and "serve herself" I thought man once you can serve yourself its time to stop. Or once they have teeth its time to call it quits. Danielle taught me different and introduced me to a new way of parenting and thinking.


In 2002 I had Skylar now I was armed with knowledge and dangerous. I knew breastfeeding was hard at first but I would work through it. I had faith in my body that God designed me for this purpose and I could do it. I got through the harder first two weeks. When she was two months old my husband died and so began a custody battle with his mother. Since Skylar was a preemie my peditrician was worried about a lack of weight gain and said I was starving her. Well I thought when I chose him he was pro breastfeeding since his wife nursed their son for two years. But he asked me to supplement with formula. Pretty soon everyone was anti me breastfeeding because she looked much more satisfied with formula (that drunk look breastfed babies get on formula). I had mastered nursing in public with Skylar. Throwing a blanket (her very special blanket) over my shoulder and she was small enough to walk around and hold. A few months after all this I had to schedule a major surgery that would have me in the hospital for a few days. Again I tried an electric pump and it just wasn't working. I thought it would be better than the manual one. I talked to La Leche League Lactation consultants and read the articles that said my pain medication (morphine)  would be minimmally passed on to the baby. I knew I wouldn't be able to nurse the baby in the hospital. I didn't have a pump that worked. My sister who had twins about the same age took care of her for me. So I just switched over to Formula all together at 6 months old. It probably ended up aiding me in the issues with recovery and dealing with things that my son needed.


Even after all that time my precious princess would get into nursing postion with her bottle and pretend to nurse.


Last year I had my last child. I was turned off by the old fashioned cloth diapering technique with Skylar. I couldn't fold them worth a crap with Mackenzie. My dad had to come to my house to fold them for me. But last year i discovered the new way to cloth diaper. I went to the best shop Huntsville could ask for A Nuturing Moment. Right now the website is down while they rebuild it but once it is back online you can see they are fully stocked with multiple types of Cloth Diapers (CD's to us) and Nursing things. Not only do they sell these things but Glenni the owner is very knowledgable and eager to help. She certainly did me! through ANM I discovered Bum Genius diapers. Yes they are over $10 a piece and you can buy a whole pack of diapers for that price but you can't resuse disposables. Plus they never outgrown them! Its worth the investment if you can make it. i was buying them one at a time everytime I ordered a pack of 'sposies from diapers.com I would order a cloth diaper. (I qualified for free shipping and my 'sposies were the same price as they are in the store. Oh yeah then there is the $10 off coupon for first time orders as well as I get referral money for you signing up lol. Rick and I knew we wanted to breastfeed. I told him ordinary pumps just don't work on me. I told him I think I needed a hospital grade rental. So I went to ANM and asked them and I probably could be just as successful with a Medela Pump in Style that wasn't nearly so expensive. We went looking at Yard Sales and I found my pump barely used for an unbelievable price. Now Medela doesn't recommend using it for more than one person. but I just got new parts for mine. The milk doesn't come in contact with most of it. Its been a heaven send.


When William was born my c-section went better than I could have asked for especially since I didn't! My lactation consultant was a pro. I was released from the hospital not needing pain meds at all. William was a nursing natural. Until engoregement set in. Then he wanted to nurse a minute and fall asleep. Its normal for newborns to fall asleep (they are tired after their journey and its alot of work to eat). Only problem is I couldn't force him to wake up to nurse. I pinched. I poked. I put cold wash clothes on him. I cried. But we made it through. I had some issues that I still needed to have answers too. There will be alot of I can't do this, Its too hard, I have alot of questions. But I KNEW it was hard. I KNEW that maybe it wouldn't work like the previous two times. I KNEW that its all i wanted to do because I believed in the sacrafice. I struggled with the dirty looks from my own family. Their ignorance and lack of knowledge. I pumped in private when I wasn't nursing wherever I chose to. Almost nine months later William still nurses. He prefers solid foods, He has a bottle on occassion and he nurses when he wants to. He is starting to use a cup and he is doing beautifully. I never wanted to give up even though I knew it was hard. It was hard on me emotionally. I knew it had more hormones going crazy etc. But its whatever is best for William.

My Experience with my Breast Pump

With my oldest born. I didn't have alot of support except people telling me I HAD to breast pump. It was really intimidating. I was very young and very modest. I did give it honest effort. I left the hospital after three days and visited the in laws. Engoregement wasn't something I was prepared for. Everytime i turned around my Mother In Law at the time kept giving him a bottle telling me breastfeeding was vulgar. Of course I knew that was ridiculous.
With my second I tried and did it for up to six months. I had her peditrician tell me I was starving her and to supplement with formula. I thought he was more pro breastfeeding since his wife nursed for two years. Finally when my daughter was 6 months old I had to have major surgery and even though the La Leche League told me it was safe to breastfeed with Morphine in my system. I didn't feel right about it and I was going to be hospitalized three days. So she was switched to formula for good at that time.
Now this is my last child and I got lucky and found a barely used Pump In Style for a price I could afford. i had tried all the other brands with the last baby in hopes of salvaging my mess. I knew the pump in style would be awesome. At this time I had remarried before becoming pregnant and my husbands youngest sound just wasn't comfortable with the pumping although he had gotten more used to the idea of nursing. Down the road I am still nursing and I am so glad I haven't given up...
My Pump In Style has been great for road trips etc... I am giving it up and all its accessories to my pregnant friend because I want to give her as much breastfeeding support as I can. At the same time Rick is retiring from the Army and I might have to go back to work. I am afraid of the thought of giving up now at 8 months. I am afraid of giving up my pump too.

I entered a give away at http://www.blogger.com/NaturalMommie.com to win a new pump

Trying a project

I am going to try and do a 365 Photo Journal of William's first year it would be neat since they change so much.

DAY ONE ~ The Birth
William Doane was born on August 3rd 2009. He was born by C-section after days of false labor. He weighed 8 lbs 2 ounces. He is 18 inches long. Mommy and Daddy are enamored and the Big sister couldn't be more happy about his arrival. William is a pretty easy baby. He fusses on occasion a big change from his screaming as he was being born. He had apgars of 8 and 9. He is a very beautiful, perfectly healthy baby. Nursing is always a challenge but he's done the best out of what I've seen in babies.

http://bellasfamilyphotos.shutterfly.com/

Update on Me

Today I am a roller coaster honestly.

I got a myspace message that sounds weird or off and I think it means my first boyfriend which is also one of my oldest friend died last night... I am too afraid to call his mama and find out...

I am freaking out over the baby... I really shouldn't but I feel so stupid. I mean I bought mostly winter clothes for the baby then I realized it will be 100 degree's when he is born so he might be too hot in the clothes I bought him so then I stressed my husband out by telling him I would need something else but it will be 100 degree's during the day and cool at night so what would the newborn wear? His little legs will be red and splotchy in a onesie... Then a light bulb went off and said if the PJ's I have for him are too warm then I will go buy him some little rompers then why worry about it now unless I can find them at yard sales or something.

Diapers and Breastfeeding are scaring me... The thought of a c-section (I am going to make sure a VBAC isn't an option AGAIN and AGAIN) being tied down for forty five minutes I just feel an anxiety attack will happen. Not being able to hold, nurse, or touch the baby because my arms have to be tied down. Oh god I want to cry.

Then James... I don't know what to do about James. I feel like I've been avoiding him for days because I don't know what to say to him. am so proud of my Jamesy for being so unselfish to buy a Pack N Play for us... No one asked him to. I mean that says so much I don't know if I could actually say it without breaking down into tears. I mean that means he accepts William and wants to help with him (he would never dream of holding him still I think!) It means he LOVES me and yeah I knew that because he doesn't verbally defend me but he does it in his own way (we've seen some of the stuff he writes about me), I always think of my self as an intruder or the evil step mother bitch because I give him structure and discipline. Its amazing you give someone discipline and they reward you with LOVE! He doesn't buy gifts but this was a BIG gift and I know what he wants and cannot afford so he could have bought something he wants for himself instead. I have asked him to even buy his dad a $20 DVD and he said no. But he told Rick he felt like an ass for forgetting Mothers Day (although he didn't get his mother anything and never does unless I remind him... He didn't even want to call her we did remind him to do that) He said he really wanted to help with William and didn't know how. He see's how stressed we are trying to come up with the money for everything. Its truly a gift an amazing gift that I never thought would happen with my adult step children... WOW

I had a blast at my baby shower on Sunday thanks to my Hostess Crystal and her little assistant Heather who helped with the decorations and cake... Thats so sweet of both of them. All my wonderful supportive Military Wife friends that came. Thank you to those who came and to those of who were there in spirit you know who you are.. You learn who your true friends are even asking for the simplistest thing.

Anyways I rambled yeah I had a great time. Rick was supposed to take pictures but didn't cause he's a goober.. And I have to figure out how to get them off my friends camera and on to my computer at some point but here are some pictures

I got gift cards from Pegan and Marissa as well as Rick's aunt sent me cash which will go straight into Williams savings account or piggy bank!

Check Lists updated!

Sorry I have been MIA if you've been reading this blog. I had a bout with depression and then sickness. It surely doesn't help Rick and I have to drive up to Kentucky constantly..

So I took a couple of checklists for my husband's sanity and averaged out the amounts. I don't know if I need all this or what but we will see....

Any feedback is appreciated

NURSERY NEEDS
3-4 Crib Sheets (2 of them came with my bedding yeehaw so I need 2 more)
3-4 Bassinet Sheets
2-6 Waterproof Pads (I use these for a million different things.)
2 Mattress Pads
2 Stroller Blankets
2-5 Recieving Blankets (I know these are a dime a dozen and Skylar still plays with some of hers. Rick grabbed a few last night so I need 1more or so)
Blankets
Mobile
Bassinet, Cradle, or Co-Sleeper (A MUST for us)
Crib with a Crib Mattress
Changing Table
Diaper Pail
Bouncer or Infant Chair
Rocking Chair
Baby Monitor
Infant Swing (A portable one will be handy with all our traveling we do as well as a bigger one that will stand the test of time)
Night Light
Pack and Play (we have a pretty heavy travel schedule so this is a must)
Dresser

√ Bedding Sets (We are starting to think Sir Leaps Alot could be girlie)

(I ended up with two. I may sell one. One is Peter Rabbit and the other is Wendy Bellissimo's Sir Leaps Alot. I hope they are both unisex!)

Clothing

√ 3-10 Short Sleeve Onesies Newborn Sized
(I have ten of these some are white some have color, Do I need Long sleeve? I know I will need bigger ones that go up to 12 lbs)
6-8 Stretchies or PJ's (I have five of these I need 3 more)
1-2 Two piece outfits (August is an inbetween month weather wise here so I will need some for the hot weathered days and the cooler weather days. I think I have two right now for the warm days.)
3-6 Rompers (I have two I need 4 more)
√ 3-6 Gowns (YAY! I have eight of these! They are all unisex though)
2-3 Blanket Sleepers
1-3 Sweaters
1-3 Hats (I have 6 hats 3 boy and 3 white), The suggestion on Xanga was 10?
√ 1 snowsuit
6-8 Socks
6 Bibs
3-6 Washable Pants (do they mean like diaper covers cause I put this under clothing LOL! I have 1 pair of pants to go with a onesie I guess I need 5 more)
6 Kimono's and or T-shirts (I got three newborn sized Kimono things for the first week of life. I need 3 more) I have 2 kimono's that are 0-3 months
Home from the Hospital Keepsake Outfit and Maybe another one for pictures
√ 2 Newborn Hand Mittens (So they don't scratch their face)
2 Cool weather outfits
3-10 Up to 12 lbs (0-3 Months sized) Onesies (I know i will use these when it gets cooler! I have eight, 2 more are needed)
6 T-Shirts 0-3 month sizes (I have 1 I think I need 5 more but I am not sure?)
3-10 Long sleeve onesies possibly? Newborn and or 0-3 month sized? I have 2 long sleeve onesies do I need 8 more?

I bought the baby an off white and tan jacket

CHANGING SUPPLIES

I plan on doing mostly disposable but I probably will do some cloth diapers
10-12 per day of the Disposable Diapers. (How many of each size should I buy ahead of time?)
2-5 Dozen cloth diapers
Baby Diapers
Wipe Warmer
4-6 Diaper Pins

BATHING AND GROOMING SUPPLIES

2-4 Towels
Tons Washcloths
Baby Bath
Baby Shampoo
Baby Oil Creamy
Rash Cream
Vaseline
Cleaning Wipes
Cotton Balls
Baby Nail Clippers
Baby Brush and Comb (I would like two, one for travel or the diaper bag)
Baby Tub

HEALTHCARE SUPPLIES
Tylenol
Antibiotic
Peroxide
Calamine Lotion
Hydrocortisone Cream
Rehydration Fluid
Sunscreen
Rubbing Alcohol
Medicine Syringe
Gauze
Tweezers
Nasal Aspirator
Thermometer
Q-Tips

GEAR FOR GETTING AROUND

Travel System
Extra Carseat with Base or just extra base
Baby Sling or Baby Carrier (I would like one of each)
Diaper Bag
Car Seat Cover
Stroller Blanket
Convertable Car Seat

FEEDING ACCESSORIES

12 Burp Cloths
6 Four Ounce Bottles
10-12 Eight Ounce Bottles
4-6 Bottles for Breastmilk Storage with Caps
Breast Pump
? Milk Bags
? Pacifer
High Chair (we want something like this http://www.target.com/Fisher-Price-Space-Saver-High-Chair/dp/B001HTJQNA/qid=1236719395/ref=br_1_67/192-6864824-4891335?ie=UTF8&node=1041930&frombrowse=1&pricerange=&index=tgt-mf-mv&field-browse=1041930&rank=pmrank&rh=&page=1)
Bottle Brush
2w 2 Weeks of Formula if I can't breastfeed
lanolin
Breast Pads
3 Nursing Bras
Boppy
Water for Formula if Applicable
dishwasher caddy (suggested on Xanga THANKS I totally forgot)
drying caddy (for storage)

OTHER

Gates
Exosaucer
All Free and Clear Baby detergent (any other suggestions)
Saline Nose Spray
Gas Drops
Liquid Benedryl
Did I already say Boppy? There are so many different ones...
Xanga suggestion ~ "would only get 2 packages of newborn sized and 3-4 packages of size 1 4 packages of size 2 and then 6 packs of size 3 they seem to say in those the longest, for cloth diapers you need special detergent and a stripping agent and make sure you wash them about 7 times beore using them if you've never used cloth diapers just email me and ill give you the info. you also need your wipes either the disposable kind of the cloth kind and with that some solution . and a tub to put them in. you'll need some type of diaper pail for the cltoh diapers and a diaper genie or a diaper dekor plus is what we have and love it. you will also want a blanket to cover up the baby while your chaign them so they wont get cold and a special toy that they cna play or lok at jsut when they are being changed this will help imensily when they get older and want to scoot all over the place, also have extra socks on the changing table dont ask me why but they always seem to stick thir foot or sock in poo and then they need new ones. make suretoget a coolmist humdifier most babies get congested with in 2 weeks of coming home and thats the only thing that will help them sleep"


Thank you to http://www.xanga.com/starry4life for the suggestions

I am currently registered at Babies R Us (yes you will see two I am sorry they are messed up just pick one I guess LOL. There are also two at Sears... Hopefully when I do Target it won't be messed up as well LOL. AAFES stuff is always welcome here!!

Is it just me I hope Breast Pumps aren't in Greek??

I tried nursing and pumping with my first two children. Mackenzie got nipple confusion thanks to an unnamed source grrrrrrr and no one wanting to HELP me. My "adopted" mother was like the Breastfeeding Cloth Diapering Nazi... but did she teach me anything about it NOOOO. The lactation consultant was worthless she would attach Mackenzie and then leave. I am like wahhh. I had a manual pump at the time and I could sit there and pump for an hour and literally get an ounce. That wasn't going to cut it. So needless to say between his latex enabler and my lack of knowledge and support he didn't even nurse a month.

Round two... Skylar did a little better although people thought I was starving her. You know if you give a breastfed baby a bottle of formula they get that wasted drunk look? Well thats what Skylar looked like so then I started getting pressure from my Pedi and sister OMG there was no letting up... This time I tried an electric pump... again pretty worthless I swear squeezing my chest probably produced more milk.

Round Three.... I am 99% sure I will be WIC-less.... I am again bound and determined to nurse... I haven't even thought about buying bottles because the bottle will just be a temptation. So I think my only way to go is a Hospital Grade Breast Pump... Then I started freaking. I see so many different types of Medela breast pumps... Are they hospital grade? Are they the best of the best? Which style is the best? Is there another brand? Where do I look how do I review. UGH HELP...